How to Find Your Own Way to Relax (Without Forcing Meditation)
There’s so much advice out there about how to relax.
“Just meditate.”
“Try yoga.”
“Take a deep breath.”
But what if those things don’t work for you — or even make you more tense?
What I’ve learned, both in my personal life and through my work, is that relaxation isn’t something you can copy-paste from someone else’s list. It’s deeply personal. And sometimes, it doesn’t look like stillness at all.
Relaxation Is About What Feels Like You
For some, relaxation comes through silence. For others, it comes through motion. For some, it’s closing your eyes. For others, it’s writing, cooking, walking, or folding laundry with music on.
For me? My favorite way to relax is… *[insert your current preferred way here — you can keep it as journaling, warm tea, going outside, etc.]
It’s something that brings me back to myself without effort. It grounds me without needing to “perform calmness.”
Finding Your Practice
If you’re unsure what works for you, try this:
Think of the last time you felt a natural sense of ease. What were you doing? What weren’t you doing?
Was your body still or moving?
Were you alone or connected to someone or something?
What did your senses love in that moment — the temperature, the light, the textures?
These small details matter. They’re clues.
There’s No One-Size-Fits-All Calm
The goal isn’t to relax perfectly. It’s to find small ways to come home to yourself, again and again, in ways that feel gentle and true.
If you’re wired for overthinking, you don’t need more rules — you need relief. That might come from nature, art, voice, rhythm, color, or solitude. It’s okay if it doesn’t look like anyone else’s version of calm.
Want help discovering your version of calm?
I work with high-achieving, thoughtful people who are tired of forcing self-care and ready to reconnect with themselves — softly and sustainably. Click here to learn how we can work together →